She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
