Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
