his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
is that a dick in a sweater?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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