hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
