she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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