I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
