while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We are two peas in an std pod
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
