I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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