You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
