it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
