I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
