nut hugger
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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