Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
