I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
soo... how was my night?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
