Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
