The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize