It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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