for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
