and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
