Its about making memories worth repressing
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
