And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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