I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
