Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
