Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
