the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
