I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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