Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
