Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
