he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
