He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sext me about skeletons
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
