Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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