Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
