I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
