don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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