that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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