My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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