i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
is wine microwaveable?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
