I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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