And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
