I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
