I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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