I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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