Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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