quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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