i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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