we're blogging at a bar
its not stalking. its research.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
