I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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