he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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