i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
