I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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