you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
